Ain't no flies on us.

Some of you may remember the childhood taunt/game "there ain't no flies on us". If you aren't familiar with it, there are two teams and each team says successively louder ...

there ain't no flies on us
there ain't no flies on us
there might be flies on some of you guys
but there ain't no flies on us.

Now, I know it's not grammatically correct (which sadly seems to be happening more and more in the English language by supposed native-speakers) and is in fact a double negative which means that there really are flies on us.

Well, in Michigan there really are no flies on us. Why you may ask? Well, and I know this sounds strange, but Michigan flies are the slowest flies I've ever seen in my entire life!! A three-year old child with undeveloped reflexes could kill a Michigander fly. I know it's a strange posting but I've killed several flies in the house now because we tend to leave our garage door open when we're home as does most our hood (yes, burgalurs, people are more lax about home security in the burbs), so we get these big Michigander flies who fly in, think they own the place with their noisy buzz, and then get killed by my hand and a piece of papertowel. Aren't you supposed to have some kind of sense of accomplishment when you kill a fly in your home? Some kind of sense of "gotcha sucker!!! Michigander flies steal that feeling from you. It's kinda sad.